20 Something in LA LA land...

Romantical

So, funny enough, Valentine's Day last night was more just like any other night that we hang out and cook dinner.  Sure, I came home to find bags and boxes of chocolates and candy, and a beautiful card.  Also, the two glasses of wine that were already poured and the cheese plate he prepared didn't hurt.  We exchanged some little things we got for eachother, drank wine, talked, cooked dinner, and watched Lost.  Actually, it was kinda perfect.

We are really celebrating this Saturday night, when he is taking me out to a super fancy seafood restaurant on the ocean, where we will be able to eat oysters (OK, just me) and lobster (both of us) while guzzling champagne.  Cannot wait.

Work has gone full speed ahead with the strike ending - at least for me.  C is still out of work because the show he was working on hasn't officially been picked back up.  It's a bit of a bummer for him, although he has rarely had any time off since he moved to LA 6 years ago, and when he does, he never worries or stresses about it (like I do), and always manages to find a job pretty quickly.  Cross your fingers for him. 

This weekend should be fun - tonight, dinner and drinks with friends, tomorrow night is our fancy dinner, and Sunday is open houses.  Loves it.  I hope all of you had a fantastic V-day and have an even more fantastic weekend!

Perspective

I feel officially thrown for a loop.  A few weeks ago, I wrote about how a good friend of mine and I were growing apart.  She and her husband had lived in LA for a year and the four of us couldn't have been closer.  When they moved back to NYC, we stayed very much in touch and had one of our greatest weekends there last Memorial Day visiting them.  So when they came out to visit a few weeks ago, I was very confused as to why she was so distant. 

Initially of course, I assumed it was something I had done.  Had I changed since the last time she saw me?  I honestly analyzed my behavior that weekend and came to the conclusion that I was pretty sure it wasn't something I had done.   Maybe she was going through something?  Was her relationship okay? Well, it sure seemed like it was.  Her job?  She seemed to really like it.

After all of your advice, and after speaking to mutual friends of ours, I decided to approach her and casually ask if everything was ok with her.  Over IM, naturally.  The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey!
Her: Hey
Me: How are you? 
Her: ok. you?
Me: good, same ol' shit.  Why just ok?
Her: just work and stuff
Me:  I get that.  Did you guys have fun in LA?
Her: Yeah it was really fun
Me: I felt like we didn't get to chat as much as we normally do :)
Her: Yeah... well, it's 5 - my day is over... talk soon?

I'm not gonna lie - I felt so snubbed and almost a bit floored.  Why, all of a sudden was she acting so cold to me?  I'm also very close with her  husband, and when he IM'd me the next day, I felt I should ask him what he thought.  He also reiterated what a fun time they had in LA, and when I asked him if his wife was ok because I felt something was up, he immediately said "yeah, everythings fine" and then quickly ended the conversation.

Last Friday night,  I had dinner with the girl that introduced us.  I decided to ask her what she thought.  She agreed with me that something was definitely a little strange.  We both know that the girl has never been one of those overly affectionate, over the top girls, but we felt we were even getting less than what we normally would.  Plus, she hadn't returned any emails that my friend sent to her.  Immediately, we started to think of what could possibly be the problem.

"Maybe she's pregnant?" 
"No, she had a couple of drinks while she was here."

"Maybe he wants to move back to LA and she doesn't so she was trying to sabatoge the trip"
"Could be it!"

"Maybe she is just miserable at her job?"
"Possibly.  But that's one of the only things she lights up about."

"Maybe she and her husband are fighting a lot?"
"That could be it.  But they seemed so happy when they were here."

Oh well, we chatted about it, and then moved on.  I basically came to the conclusion that I tried, and if she wants to talk to me about something, well then I am here.  Ball's in her court.

Yesterday evening, I get an email from her.  She acknowledged that she has been distant and hasn't really kept in touch.  She then went on to say that her family has had a really hard few weeks.  Her mom had been going through all of these medical tests because she had a lingering cough but otherwise felt fine and just a week ago, was diagnosed with lung cancer.

I just couldn't believe what I was reading.  Of course she seemed subdued and distant, she didn't know about the cancer the weekend we saw her, but she did know that something was wrong that her mom was undergoing various medical tests for.  The day she got back to NY, she discovered this horrific news.

My friend that I had dinner with and I talked on the phone last night, and felt horrible that we even laughed about why she wasn't as sweet as she normally is.  She also spoke to another friend who knew more details, and it looks like the cancer has already spread and she has basically been given 1 year to live.

This has affected me more than I would think it could.  I could not get it off my mind last night - I called my own mom and dad and talked to them.  When I was laying in bed, I just felt so sad for my friend, her mom, and their family.  I couldn't imagine what it would be like to hear this news about someone you love.  And the kind of cancer too!  If she had gotten breast cancer even, it would be more of an "alright, we can BEAT this!"  Her mom is still trying to fight it, they started her first round of chemo last Friday.

I just feel so helpless and so badly for her. 

The rambling weekend recap

The weekend was - how else can I say it - perfect.  Not only was it filled with food, friends, and fun, but C and I are in a very good place.  I mean, other than when I gave him crap for coming home after playing basketball and throwing his shit all over the living room.  But that's pretty typical.  And showering?  You'd think it would be natural to want to shower after playing three hours of sweaty nasty basketball but apparently when football playoffs are on, showering goes down your list of priorities.  But that's a whole other story.

Friday night, we started our evening at out favorite Irish gastropub/bar down the street.  It's such a warm environment, where we can sit at the bar, enjoy some yummy beer and wine and just decompress the crazy week that just ended.  Oh, and they have the best fries known to man (or at least known to me) so that never hurts.  Afterwards, we went out to dinner to an Ethiopian restaurant here in LA.  Shocked?  yeah, I know, I was a little hesitant.  However, C and I have embarked on this new exciting mission of trying different, interesting, off the beaten path type restaurants - and what better place to do it than here in LA?  A couple of weeks ago was Peruvian and now Ethiopian.  And can I just stop and say that when C and I first met?  He would shy away from anything that wasn't meat and potatoes - and now?  He LOVES fish (even the raw kind), and different ethnic cuisines.  So, I could say I did a good job.  Anyway, Ethiopian food is SO good, everything comes on this thin bread/crepe, and there are NO utensils, so you eat by ripping a piece of the bread (injera) and scooping your meats and vegetables.  PROS?  YUMMY food, cheap bill, very interesting date.  CONS?  Smelly hands for hours and the possibility of eating too much and not being able to stop because it was SO damn good and then subsequently not being able to sleep because of VERY FULL TUMMY with indigestion.  Thank you C for running out and getting me Alka Seltzer at midnight. 

Saturday was errands and dinner and games with a very close couple of ours.  Remind me to elaborate on that another time because also?  Quite the experience having dinner with a newlywed couple who are SO intent on showing that they have the HAPPIEST LIFE EVER.  With matching outfits too!

Yesterday was breakfast, followed by an open house nearby and hi?  I want to afford my own house TODAY.  Also, we went furniture shopping and bought a new dresser which should be arriving at some point this afternoon.  And last night?  Fish tacos and Amazing Race. 

I'd say it was one of the better weekends in a long while.

Growing apart.

This morning has just been off.  It started when I set my alarm for a pretty early time (even though I was out late last night) to make it to a Spinning class taught by my favorite instructor.  Upon arriving at the gym, I saw the spin room empty, and after taking a look at the schedule, realized that the class is no longer since the New Year.  Good one D - next time, look online BEFORE you wake yourself up at an ungodly hour.  I still ended up doing 50 minutes on the treadmill so I did get some cardio in.

At home, while I was getting ready for work, my stomach started to hurt.  Cut to 45 minutes later, when I am basically doubled over in the bathroom hoping the stomach cramps go away.  No, not nausea, just "I feel like I have to go to the bathroom but can't" pains.  NOT FUN.  I still am not pain free hours later but I'm hoping for the best?

The weekend was a bit crazy - too much drinking, too much food, and not enough sleep.  Friday night was a fun dinner, followed by a great Irish pub.  Our friends that were in town were staying by the beach, and even though that's a bit of a drive for C and I, of course we went to them.  We have been really looking forward to seeing them, and it's rare that there is a couple that the guys get along as well as the women, so we definitely don't take it for granted.

They had invited us to join them for dinner on Saturday night at the most expensive steakhouse in LA, but due to the strike, C and I felt like it would be too much for us.  So we met them at the beach during the day on Saturday, and had plans to meet them after dinner when we would all go out in our neighborhood.  The wife had just come down with a cold and was absolutely silent for the few hours we were with them.  C was having a blas, tossing the football and playing around with the guys.  But I was just sitting there.  I started to get a very strange feeling about my relationship with the girl and how I felt it had changed.

A bit of a backstory: The couple are from the East Coast, but moved to LA a while back for one year for his job.  We immediately became friends.  She and I were very close for a while there - we had the same interests, and gossiped aand had fun.  Sure, she was a little less outgoing and "fun" as I am - she tended to be more quiet, didn't really drink, didn't love to go out, but we still totally got along.  And C and her husband immediately became really close so it worked.

When they moved back to LA, we would talk on the phone almost every weekend and IM.  The truth was we all missed eachother.  In May of '07, we went to NY and stayed with them for the weekend.  It was mostly a great weekend, a lot of fun was had, but I sensed a tiny bit of shift in my relationship with the girl.  It wasn't as easy for us to talk about whatever - it just felt a bit more forced if that makes sense.

However, we still all kept in touch, albeit a bit less, and we knew that they were coming this weekend and were really excited.  So, the first night, when we were all together and having fun, everything felt back to normal.  But that Saturday when we were at the beach, I felt like she was being incredibly distant.  I just figured she was feeling a bit under the weather, and that night she'd be back to normal.

We knew they were having a late dinner, so C and I also did.  We still hadn't heard from them when our dinner ended, so we went to our neighborhood bar to keep ourselves occupied (after some sake at dinner, I knew I would fall asleep if we went home and waited).  At 11, we texted them trying to figure out what the deal was.  We only heard back at midnight (the restaurant only seated them at 10), and even though he wanted to go out,  she didn't - so we never saw them that night.  I couldn't help it, but I was annoyed.  We had gone out and stayed out late just so that we would see them, and it was all for nothing (not that C and I had a bad time - we actually had a lot of fun)!

The next morning, they called us and of course, invited us to go once again to the beach.  I had talked to my sister and had made plans to go to her house with C so we told them that maybe we would all meet up for dinner later.  Sure enough, later that day they called us, said they were going out with some friends where else? At the beach.  They invited us to join but that was already way too much driving for us and we were exhausted so we politely declined and told them we would see them on Monday night.

Yesterday, while I was working one of the craziest days at work, C biked ALL the way to the beach (17 miles! He officially is INSANE) to hang with them.  After work, I drove to the South Bay (45 minutes) to our friend's house where we were all having dinner.  The food was great, most of the company was great, but towards the end of the evening I realized that the wife and I had hardly uttered a word all night.  She was being completely anti-social, quiet, bitter, and wasn't making a bit of effort to talk to me.  At the end of the night, I told them that since I only had to be at work at noon today, why don't they drive into our area and meet C and I for breakfast since they're leaving on a redeye tonight.  The husband immediately was all over it, he was all "sure, yeah, that sounds great" and then he looked over at his wife - who was giving him such a look.  Immediately, he said "oh but we had made plans to go eat at ________ (whatever restaurant they mentioned that was oh, you guessed it, AT THE BEACH)".  And that was that.  I couldn't believe what I had just saw.  Five minutes later, we were saying a very awkward goodbye, because who knows when we'll see eachother again, and C and I drove home.

I was in shock.  They have been here for 5 days, three of the days C and I have gone well out of our way to see them, and they couldn't go out of their way for one hour to see us?  The crazy thing is that the husband would totally have joined us, but she very quickly ended that plan.  And the worst part?  She didn't even try to make an excuse - no "I'm sorry, but I hope you understand. __________ restaurant is my FAVE and I've been looking forward to it" or "don't be mad at me, k?  I still love you!".  NOTHING. 

The drive home was incredibly depressing for me.  C tried to make me feel better - he thinks that there must be something going on with her for her to act so cold and distant.  I don't know.  I do know that I haven't changed, nor have I done anything that would anger her.  But I can't help feel like this weekend was the beginning of the end of a friendship.  Thoughts?

Friends

Yesterday evening, as C and I were sleepily watching TV, I couldn't help but think about friendship and how I've played a role in all of mine.

I would like to consider myself a good friend, someone who is loyal and there for you, whenever you need me.  I also am always interested in hearing how my friends are doing, how they are feeling, what they are up to, etc.

Yet I can't shake the feeling that I've somehow, along the lines, lost the desire and knowledge on how to keep many friendships strong and going.  Make sense?

First off, I'm not saying I don't have any girlfriends - I do.  I have about three really great girlfriends, who I can always call and who always call me, and we all live close enough to hang out whenever we can.  That's great and I am so blessed for that.  What makes me a little sad are all the friendships that used to be incredibly strong in my life, or had the potential to, and never ever got there due to, I don't know, lack of caring enough?  That and also time, energy, and general laziness too.

I have two best friends from when I was 8 years old.  I love them with all my heart and have no doubt that we will be friends for the rest of my life.  However, they both live far (one in another state and another across the world) and both have such different lifestyles than I do, that I sometimes hardly get in contact with them for months at a time.  Sure, there's the occasional Myspace, Facebook or text - but is that friendship? 

I also have recently reconnected with my best friend from elementary school over email.  I found her, and she emailed me back right away about how excited she was to see me. I got her phone number and told her I'd call her after the holidays.  It's now January 7th and I still haven't called her.  Is it because I don't want to talk to her?  Absolutely not - I'm excited to hear about what she is up to and see her.  I just have been pushing it back and procrastinating.  Just like I am keeping in touch with so many of my girlfriends with whom it doesn't come obvious and easy. 

I can only do so much - I know that.  I also know that being in a relationship makes it difficult to stay close with all of your girlfriends - this is not something I am proud of or agree with - it just is though.  I also know that friendship is a two-way street and it's not like they are all banging down my door to talk to me and I'm on the other side not opening it.  But there are no excuses.  That will be my new New Year's Resolution.  To become a better friend.  Now if only I could find time to call that girl today...

The night of mexican, margies, and ex's.

I'll start this story with a little bit of history.  In 1997, I went to Israel with a group of 150 kids and counselors for 8 weeks to study Hebrew and Judaism and Israel.  It was probably one of the more amazing experiences I have had in my life.  You are forced in such a short time to make tons of new friends and really understand who you are.  At age 16 - which is a very hard thing to do.

I've talked about this before here.  So you can catch up on what happened with the two guys there in Israel.  Since then we have remained close and very much in touch, but last Friday, for the first time, both of the guys, their girlfriends, C and I all got together.

There is something very strange that happens when you realize that you are sitting at a table with your current boyfriend of 4.5 years, one guy who used to REALLY like you and used to make out with quite often, and another guy who you used to like at one point as well and even slept with once upon a time, a long, long time ago.  Oh yeah, also both of their awesome, adorable current girlfriends.

Let me tell you - it's fucking weird.

One specific highlight?  When I was chatting with one of their girlfriends and found out SO MANY similarities between her upbringing and family life and mine - her dad does the EXACT same thing at the same hospital as mine - and I literally said, "well, he sure knows how to pick 'em" OUT LOUD (referring to my friend - her boyfriend).  Awwwwkkwwaaarrd.  There may or may not have been MANY margaritas consumed at that point.

Another highlight?  When the mariachi band came by and asked for any requests and one of the guys loudly requested "Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd which was SO our song.  I kept on giving him the "what the hell are you doing - your girlfriend is right next to you!" eyes.

I guess the craziest part is that the things that I always liked in both of those guys - I see in C.  And I see a ton of similarities between myself and their girlfriends.  On top of all of that?  We all got along amazingly and if we all lived in the same city?  I would have no doubt it would happen more often.

Wedding weekend woohoo!

OK, so even the title of this post seems like I am just BURSTING with energy, which in fact I am not. It's Monday morning and I am tiiiiiiiiiired.  Why, then, did I wake my ass up to go to the gym this morning when I felt like I was sleepdriving my way there?  GOOD QUESTION.  If only I had an answer.  No need to lose weight to look good at the wedding, cause it's over, and it's almost winter, so it should be getting cold anytime soon (minus the 95 degree weather yesterday - kill.me.now), and I can wear big sweaters and jackets to hide my flabbier areas.  I'll try to remind myself this tomorrow as I am STRUGGLING to get out of bed to make it to the hell we call a gym ;)

The weekend was FANTASTIC.  Friday night, the rehearsal dinner was fun, good people, great wine, just eh food.  I made a speech for the whole bridal party, letting the couple know how amazing they are and how perfect they are for each other.  It's amazing how easy it is to get me in front of people when I am drinking.  The nice part about the speech I made and everyone else's speech for that matter, is that they were ALL sincere - cause this really is that couple.

Since the venue was about an hour away, C and I had planned to stay in a hotel that the couple had picked for everyone since it was the right price.  Shoulda known better because holy shite, that hotel was the most DISGUSTING thing I had ever seen.  The room! OH GOD the room!  Blue carpet, stale cigarette smoke, apricot mesh curtains, cracks in the toilet seat, etc.  C and I took one look and realized there was a reason he didnt drink that much because we needed him to drive us home STAT. 

The next morning, he once again drove me to the hotel to meet up with everyone (my guess is everyone was WASTED and that's how they were able to sleep there), and we girls went up to the house where the wedding was to take place.  The house had the most amazing yard and view - PERFECT for a small (90 people) wedding.  All day was makeup, and hair, and dress, and pictures! And more pictures!!!  The bride (my best friend from college) couldn't have been more calm and happy, it was IDEAL.

By 4 all of the guests arrived, and guess what?  It started to drizzle.  The wedding was outside and there was no other alternative but to wait out the rain because the couple (on a budget) didn't realize that you have to have backups in case of rain at an OCTOBER wedding!!!

But within minutes, the rain stopped, and we walked down the aisle for a short and sweet ceremony (12 minutes!) and then more pictures!  And then cocktails, and yummy yummy Italian food and then speeches and then dancing.  And SO much dancing.  The bride didn't stop all night.  That was the kind of party it was.  One thing I know about my wedding (whenever it will be) is that there will be A LOT of dancing.

One last thing, C was AMAZING and always is at weddings and social functions.  Dancing with all of the single girls, getting the bridal party drinks, talking to the chatterbox grandparents, friendly with the boyfriend's and husbands.  When I see him in that element, I'm reminded why I love him so much and how lucky I am to have him.  It says something when everyone you know LOVES your boyfriend.

Too bad they didn't see him the morning after hunched over our toilet from too much champagne.  Only I get to see that side :)  And you know what?  I still love the guy.

isn't chocolate an aphrodisiac???

Wow - this is fun! A nighttime post.  Haven't ever done that but I just HAD to tell you all how AMAZING Dave Matthews was last night - it was like heaven!!!

We had a perfect group - 5 of us - and our seats that I got through an agent friend were in the front section in a great box.  A few minutes after we got ourselves situated and started pouring the wine, my sister and I notice our two best friends from when I was 8 walking down the aisle right next to us.  We knew they would be there but didn't know where they were sitting and out of all the thousands and thousands of seats?  They were sitting RIGHT NEXT TO US.  It was seriously insane and we all became screaming hyenas when we saw eachother - I mean, seriously! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN???

I also had another friend of mine in the box right behind us so I almost felt like it was my party and my boyfriend Dave just happened to be the performer.

Of course the music was AMAZING, the setlist was great (he played Satellite!), the people were great, and C had an awesome time.  Great time had by all.

After the concert let out and we got to our car, we realized that it would be a while before getting out of the lot due as it was stacked parking.  The whole time we were sitting there, C and I were fantasizing about pizza.  Sure enough, at 12:15, we were picking up MASSIVE N.Y. style pizza slices and chowing down - right before I fell asleep. 

Needless to say, I woke up feeling like a fat pig and upset at myself.  See, I have a total love/hate relationship with food.  I think about it all the time, look forward to yummy meals or sweets, love to eat it, but anytime I eat badly or a large amount (which is happening way too often lately with the parties and birthdays and entertaining going on), I feel sick and disgusted with myself in the mirror and pictures.

Yes, I know I am a little dysmorphic when it comes to the way I look.  But I also know that eating a 30 foot pizza last thing before bed doesn't help at all.  So I woke up this morning and told myself that until the weekend I am on a STRICT diet.  By diet I mean NO chocolate, candy, large portions, extra cheese, etc.  I will only eat lean cuisines or small salads with a little protein.  And for dessert (because I don't know about you all but I NEEEEEEEED something sweet after every meal!  Is it just me because now I feel like a fat pig!!! Just something sweet!!!), I will stick to fruit or an occasional 90 calorie Special K bar.

Today, so far, the plan has worked, although it is now 8:13 and I am jonesing for something chocolatey and I just happen to have some reese's peanut butter cups in my freezer... but NO!  I will eat watermelon!! 

I am also going to allow myself to eat however I want on the weekends because how will I survive at the sports bar on Sundays without chips and guac???

mmmmm.... chocolate.

eat, drink and be merry

The weekend ended up being SO much fun and once again, reminded me what a big, over-dramatic worrier I am and can be.  C's friends arrived Saturday morning and we went to C's softball game, followed by apps and some drinks on the ocean at Duke's in Malibu, and then a quick stroll through the Santa Monica Promenade.  On the way home, we drove through Beverly Hills and up Robertson and sure enough there were paparazzi so she was EXTREMELY happy to know a celebrity was in the vicinity.

That was the funny thing.  She was INSANELY obsessed with seeing a celebrity while she was here.  And it almost put this sense of pressure on me - like, OMG where do we go that we'll definitely see someone??  But the truth was that normally, if I'm to see a celebrity, it's on a random Tuesday at 2:30 pm at a convenience store.  Meaning, you can't plan these things to save your life. 

Saturday night, we went to a VERY LA restaurant, with great, loud music and expensive but yummy sushi.  And we walked around Hollywood Blvd. so they could see different kinds of stars - the ones on the sidewalk.

Yesterday, we woke up and watched another depressing football game, followed by a walk and some shopping on Melrose, and then a drive through Bel Air, and then Mulholland, stopping at various points to take pictures of the amazing sites and views and of course, the Hollywood Sign. 

Before dinner, we sat on our front porch and listened to great music and drank some Pinot Grigio and talked.  Honestly, the best part of the weekend for me.

For dinner, we went to this great Italian spot, then went to this little dessert place nearby, and then, on the way home, we had remembered that they never tried In'n'Out and seriously, what's a trip to LA without some In'n'Out? so we stopped and picked up one Double Double, animal style burger and each had a bite before we went to bed.

Speaking of food, I think I ate nothing but CARBS all day yesterday.  Muffin, then chips and salsa, then cheese and crackers with our wine, then bread and pasta at dinner, followed by an ice-cream sandwich for dessert.  Who the hell am I???

All in all, it was a great weekend.  They were so much fun to have around, and nothing beats a couple of friends who both you AND your man get along with equally.  Those kinds of couples come by few and far between so when you've got it?  You have to cherish it.

And tonight, C, my sister, her husband and I are going to see DMB!!! I've been waiting FOREVER for this night and I am SOOOO happy it's here - finally!

sightseeing in LA

On Saturday morning, C's childhood friend and his wife are coming to visit for a couple of days.  I have known about this since March, as they are really coming for a wedding in the OC on Friday night, but then are staying thru the weekend with us.

The last few weeks I have been thinking/worrying about their visit at different times.  Worrying because we only have a one bedroom apt, so they will have to sleep on our couch.  While it's a nice LARGE couch that they can both fit on, I'm concerned that it wont be comfortable, or the room will be too loud or too bright in the morning.

I'm also worrying that our apartment isn't decorated cute enough, or clean enough, which everyone tells me is ridiculous.  But the wife is so great and cute and fun but also really domestic and her house probably looks like Pottery Barn threw up on it.  I just don't want her to judge us or me.  (Aren't I ridiculous?)

Also, yesterday evening I had a little bit of a freak-out/meltdown that we aren't going to take them to the "right" places while they are here for just two days.  She is very much like me - loves the Hills and celebrities and yummy food and wine - but from the Midwest, so I have this feeling that she wants to go somewhere "scene-ey" where we may spot a celebrity or ten.  But frankly, all of the pressure makes me want to just say "screw it - we're going to Mickey D's (which I would NEVER say no matter how desperate I am)"...

I'm sure no matter what we do they will have a good time, but it still stresses me out that it wont be "perfect" for their LA trip.

So, to help me, if you guys were visiting LA, what would you want to do?