Hey guys,
Isn't it fun that we all go to the same gym here in LA almost everyday? Isn't it just great that we care about our fitness and cholesterol and appearance? I know. It is!
But since we see eachother almost every.single.day and that means we're kinda like friends now, I thought I would just write you guys a letter to let you know how I really feel.
* First of all - the talking. I totally feel you - you're popular! I GET IT. Does that mean I need to hear your cell phone ring 16 times in the course of 30 minutes on the treadmill RIGHT NEXT TO ME??? No. Sure, if your kid is having an emergency or say you may get fired from your job if you don't take it? Well then fine. But if I hear one more goddamn conversation about Dancing with The Stars and "HA HA" and "OMG!!!" and "FUCK YOU you are SO FUNNY!!!" when I am focused on my run? Not so cool. See, there's a problem when my "Barbie Girl" is on the loudest setting on my iPod and I can still hear you talk about Tila Tequila. ON YOUR CELL.
* Next, the smells. I love smells - you know, of the pumpkin pie, rose, and Marc Jacobs variety but B.O.?? NOT SO MUCH. Friends - put on some deodorant! It can't be that hard - wake up, brush teeth, put on deodorant! Also, please do not eat copious amounts of garlic or drink insane amounts of tequila the night before either. Because really? I don't like working out at a restaurant / bar.
* Your clothes. I'm ALL about wearing whatever you want to the gym - I really am. Different clothes are more conducive to different people's bodies and workout styles but ladies? Going to the gym is NOT an audition for the Bachelor. I promise you. You don't need to dress that skimpy, I mean, shorts should be at least 5 inches long, right? I love ya, but I really really don't need to see your Britneys in front of me in spin class. And men? Tighter is NOT better.
* Lastly, the sounds. (I know I'm being a little crazy on this one but go with it) Please bring a tissue if you need to consistently remove snot from your nose as you work out. I don't need to hear it every single time you snort, sniff, and cough. Also, the grunting. Really? Seriously?
Like I said before, I LOVE working out all the time too. If you could just make these slight changes in your "routine", it would be greatly appreciated :)
XOXO,
DG
Sidenote: I just had seriously the most disgusting experience and had to share. As I was driving out of the Starbucks parking lot this morning, a man in a GORGEOUS mercedes almost hit my car. Luckily I was paying attention, because he had no clue what he was doing... as he was looking down straight into the most disgusting SMUT magazine. (Did he not realize that I have an SUV and can look down into his car and see everything???) This was girl on girl stuff, with dildos and close ups of the lower regions, and the man was blatantly flipping through the mag as he would be in the privacy of his bedroom. Plus, he was doing it while driving way below the speed limit and in two lines. Worst part? He had a wedding ring on. Just had to share.
